On Never Saying Never (#NaNoWinner2017 Edition)

I wrote 50,000 words of a novel this month.

NaNo-2017-Winner-Badge.png

Things I can no longer say:

  • I would be amazed to get even 25 or 30,000 words for NaNoWriMo
  • I could never write more than about 2,500 words in a day
  • I could never write 5,000 in one day
  • I didn't write a single word for three days. I could never catch up
  • I didn't reach 1667 for 9 of the first 10 days of November. It would be impossible for me to catch up
  • I could never write 50,000 in a month
  • I'm a slow writer

Keep Writing

I'm about 5k behind where I 'should' be for NaNoWriMo, but I'm determined to reach 50k. I wrote for 3+ hours this morning and got a little over 3k words. I'm now less than 500 words from the 25k badge but I can't do it right now. I have to do something else. Although for some reason I'm still online. When will I ever tire of electronic screens?

I've got to write about 2500 words/day starting tomorrow. That seems impossible, but I'm hoping during the week i can do it in sprints, then during the Thanksgiving weekend I can do longer sessions, and maybe get back on track.

By the way. There's a story here. It's an absolute mess and will continue to be during NaNoWriMo, but there's some good stuff here. It's not all shit.

It's after ten at night, but I reached my new daily goal of 2135 words a day. I went a little over, in fact. 

But of course it's me so I keep thinking of awful disasters that are going to get in the way of my writing every day. Actually there were no real disasters that stopped me from writing for three days before, that caused the daily goal to go from 1667/day to over 2000.

I spent one of those days writing my resume, the second one I was... tired? The third, a Saturday was taken up by Ikea (I had a coupon. I had to go) and The Five. And knitting.

But it feels like i'm on my way to 50k.  Shhh... don't tell anyone.

Virtual Pep

I’m here to beat myself up.

I’ve never wanted to finish the NaNoWriMo 2015 novel more than right now when I’m starting another novel in 2017. Why am I starting another novel when I haven’t finished the one I started two years ago?

I’m being very John Green with the half written books. “To finish a novel is to be disappointed.” This is true. But disappointment is not rejection and that’s what I got again last night.

Rejected again, but that’s the… {looking}. I’ve gotten fifteen rejections from twenty four queries. So I’m about a quarter of the way through being rejected the 'standard' 100 times. Great. That’s just fucking great. What kind of masochists come up with this stuff?

Also, Can We Talk is STILL in my head non-stop. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s something else. Just a pretty melody?

Now I feel stupid for starting a new novel. John Green. Damn it! He’s so ubiquitous and so right. Fuck.

With the pep talks I've been reading, I’ve decided I DO want to make it to 50,000 words this year. Why not? Why say that 30,000 is okay? Or 40,000 would be great? Why not go for the goal? I can do this. I’m tired of saying I’m a slow writer. I’m not. I’m an anxious writer. I’m constantly second guessing myself.

I’ve just added four hundred words of anxiety and feelings to this story. And by god – okay wait. It’s me god, Julia. I’m not challenging you. I just want to have fifty thousand words by the end of the month. Is that asking too much?

Probably. 

The Agony and the Ecstasy of NaNoWriMo

I haven't written a word for NaNoWriMo for two days. Wednesday morning I wrote 1200+ words in a 90mwc and I knew what I would write next. I was less than 100 words from that 10k Badge and I wanted it. I could have made it that night. 

However, I needed to apply for a position. I decided I hated my resume and I needed to start from almost scratch. I hate talking about myself. I hate tooting my own horn, putting myself out there. Whatever saying applies to me saying good things about myself, I hate doing.

My therapist suggested I try writing my new resume in third person. My therapist is awesome. It worked. I made statements - true statements - about my experience that I never would have said if I'd been using the pronoun "I". 

I write almost exclusively in 1st POV. There's no story that I've written in 3rd POV that isn't immediately cured of all its ails by my changing it to 1st. Why? What's underneath? How does this affect my writing?